Allegory of chastity?

Gosh, got reminded again, tonight hahahaa after along and meaningful chat, that im really an old school uncle mentality, really outdated liao, hahaha..

The subject is premarital sex, yes i still believe protecting one's virtuous,
Chastity among couples or friends are values i uphold from a time since high school,
not sure why, but i just grow up with such strong feelings towards it...

Being a man, most of u must start swearing Bullshit , or even laughing at me for that matter, yup, I AM STILL A VIRGIN. So what i say, of course i do pleasure myself, its perfectly normal and healthy to love yourself and provide self needed comfort. But having sex openly, or even one night stand just never gone to my mind.

No doubt as a normal healthy male, every now and then i have fantasy towards this, but being a strong will person i believe myself to be. Controls over such lust are of no big matter, call me timid, old timer, or even conservative, but even with consent from any partner if i don't feel the right amount of fondness and serious commitment of love towards such person, i will not take the next steps.

Yes, im still a young, healthy, horny man, so how do i control myself? How can i resist all the offer of sex buddy, rave party with friends? I just see the bigger picture, kua i guess... and i do have a porn collections for self ,,,ahem... Recreation.. the secret is balance. So it wont become an obsession nor addictions.

Yup , i am such a romantic fool, still believe in passion of love, not passion of lust.
Thats why i rather go have casual dating every now and then and yet not end up DRINKING COFFEE with the partner if u get what i mean. I enjoy the company , the passion, the spark of each date, instead of looking forward to the rewards of sex at the end of the dates.

To me , a Romantic outing and interactions during dates are things i cherish more than sex.
Some call it native, for a person never truly experience sex before with a partner, making such an old school conclusion. But to me, most important things for me is my happiness and my partner, if we both have the most wonderful experience during the date, it will carries on and makes us attract to each other more if there were a strong sparks occurs, hence we will look forwards to the next date, and so forth....

There are things to look forward to, so the unknown and unexpected will generate a spark of interest ,passion, and chemistry in any relationship, i so ask why end the whole experience by having sex in the first or few dates to begin with?

Here are some reminders i keep to myself to maintain will and sanity so far..
*Safe sex still promotes casual sex, and hence responsibility lines sometimes fades easily
*Without casual sex, one can prevent the risk of STD infection.
*One will have pure and positive mentality towards everything or everyone in life, not every actions taken , was just to get into her pants.
*When the time comes, having sex first time with your committed partner will spring more excitement and satisfaction.
*Relationship will be tested, on the will power of each parties towards future temptations.Hence better understanding towards your spouse.
*Its cool to be a guy in control of himself over his lust and emotion than rather letting them controls u....

Sleep derived , hope declined

For a week past been working like a horsey, lacking sleep really doesn't help either,

Can't sleep well, not sure why just wide awake... dreams lots of dreams... couldn't recall them though...

Human beings are so made that the ones who do the crushing feel nothing; it is the person crushed who feels what is happening. Unless one has placed oneself on the side of the oppressed, to feel with them, one cannot understand.
Simone Weil 

The Road Less Traveled

For a dear friend of mine....find your path, i believe in you..

The Road Less Traveled

by Kit McCallum

How often we must bear the challenges of life; The endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow; The constant ups and downs of daily strife. And always the question remains .... why? Life is not an easy road for most; It twists and turns with many forks in the road, Although always, and inevitably, we are given a choice ... Do we turn to the right ... or the left? Do we take the high road ... or the low road? Do we take the easy path ... or the difficult one? Decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction ... And sometimes the many choices and signs become overwhelming. While standing at a crossroads in life, The urge is to take the most comfortable path; The road with least resistance ... The shortest or most traveled route. And yet, if we've been down that comfortable road before; Have gleaned its lessons in life, and learned from our experiences; Do we yet again follow the known? Or does our destiny lie in another direction? The fear of the road less traveled is tangible and all too real; It manifests itself in many ways, And tends to cloud the issues that might otherwise be clear. It is in these times of confusion, That we must seek peace and solitude; Time to contemplate on our life, Our experiences and our choices past; Time to look back, and reflect on what we have learned Without fear or confusion. For only each of us knows our own personal thoughts; Our unique past and personal history; The experiences that brought us to the crossroads we now face. We can always learn a small degree from others experiences, And yet ... no one person can walk in our shoes, Others know not, the trials and tribulations faced in private ... For each is individual ... unique ... and personal. And that is why ... while standing at a crossroads, Only "we" can formulate the decision for ourselves; The true direction that lies within; The choices we must deliberate on with clarity and wisdom. For it is only through personal reflection, That we can now choose our destiny; ... Our next adventure; ... And the future we will embrace.

The Poem for You

I just got tag in a wonderful and meaningful poem by a lovely gal i just met in FB by the name of Moe Myat Myat, its like it speaks from my heart itself. Well most of it speaks of things i mention many times before, yet never put into such tasteful and sensual way... Enjoy~~ and spread it~~

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life,
for without them, life is meaningless
Do not let your life slip through your fingers
By living in the past nor for the future.

By living your life one day at a time,

You live all the days of your life.
Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds is to each other.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life so fast that you forget
not only where you have been, but also where you are going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way

Been slacking......

Gosh~~ i just work up from an afternoon nap.... been slacking from my aikido training and meditation... feel tired easily lately... must be lack of Ki flow..... hmmm need to get back to training... miss it a lot ...

feels like i'm losing someone... though its for a short period but i can't help but feeling despair and loneliness when not able to interact with her... i wonder why am i giving myself such a thoughts .... its one sided after all... guess i never learn... hahaa... confidence is nothing but delusion some say... yet i keep hoping... persistent sometimes does has it rewards... sometimes...... sometimes.....

i hope....

Much better , much lesser

Thanks to my lovely date, i had a wonderful dinner, at a wonderful place..... mood much better today....but weather still gloomy , just found out 2 of my friends have problem far worse than my petty emo period... i'm worried for them and try my best to be with them...

Again i'm reminded by Fate ,how... life is frail , unpredictable and time is indeed precious, we need to held em' close, and cherish every moments... but....

My hearts seeks things it wants, yet my mind forbids it.... how can i move on , i wonder.... , to the path my heart desired...

Sitting still never my strong suite.... i end up tormenting myself with wild thoughts... haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzz........ when will i find the lights at the end of this tunnel....

time to go back to work....

Gloomy days

Gloomy days

A long day....its been,
Yup, working hard and fine i've been,
and yet the day seems gloom...

The Weather is fine ,
Yet my soul is in decline ...
Loneliness defines my current state of mind...

Why does i feel so? its because of this missing soul,
Far away she flows, but close in my mind it holds...

I tell myself to its fine to gloom,
but i shall never fall into the Loneliness Pit of doom.
For i have a wish ....

I wish that I could make the sun

To warm the world with love,
Remove this clouds a moment
To reveal the stars above....
so i will be the one beloved...

Then i realize my childish ways,
that no matter what..
Fates alway finds a way,

Therefore be it , Night or day
its all the same,
for every problem in the world....
it would melt away.

- William Fong

Hahaha not too shabby, of of my random ,silly poems... for a gloomy day....i wonder will it be heard... 

Alone again~~

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up. -Pearl Buck

Separate we come, and separate we go, And this be it known, is all that we know.

-Conrad Aiken

Parents ditch me to go holiday in singapore and hong kong again... haiz.....

Missing them and missing u.... apa bleh buat? Go lepak~~~ hahaha.... Best way to keep my brain from freezing.... is keeping it busy... 

Self assurance Quotes to the brain...

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." - Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933) American Clergyman, Writer 

Poems to keep the mind asleep~~

'What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?'
-- Frances Anne Kemble

All days are nights to see till I see thee,

And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.

~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XLIII"

Bored & Lost in time.....

Sooooooooooooooooo bored sooo sooo bored today..... emptiness inside... missing someone.... having time but no mood to do anythings... feeling lost and lazy....

just one of those days.... time practically slow down for me today..... seconds turns to minutes.... minutes turns into hours... hours seems an eternity....

Guess i have to reorganize my time table a bit....

Feeling LOST , poem by Vivian Edwards

Misplaced and lost am I today

What am I supposed to be?

In my body, in my soul, in my heart and in my mind

Why is there no brightness to light my road ahead

I need to know which way I must go

To find the way within me

This is so wrong it's just not right

To feel so tucked away

Within the womb I had more sight

Much more hopes and much less fright

I can't seem to find my way

To approach tomorrow in a better way

What it all means I just don't know

To find the reason why

To find the place I am meant to be

I am nowhere to be found

Lost among the forest within me

The thickness of the over growth

Allows no light of day

To peak through and light the empty within me

To guide along my way

Korean delights~

Lomo actions again...

Beside japanese i superbly "Love" Korean cuisine .... KIMCHI is 我的最爱~~~！！！

Crappy day.... sleepless nite or is it?

Crappy day , crappy mood... lagi kena FFK.... just adding to the tip of the icing.... well... no choice but to suck it up... cursing only will makes me feel worse about myself and being emo alone is something i trying to avoid....

cant sleep.... not sure why... then again i have an idea.......

but wait... in the mist of rowing on my bed, an angel rang my bell, and through her loud laughters... i manage to totally forget about all my problems...and euphoria kicks in .... thanks to her im ....now WIDE AWAKE~!!! wahhh,,,, lagi teruk.... hahaha.... thx

Fate is cruel.... but i accept it.

Well fate is cruel at times... set u up, bring ur hope up then reveal itself and its kick u back down to the streets again..... Thats how life is i guess, unpredictable and unforeseeable things will happens ... with no warning or avoidance... and yet this could be a silver lining in disguise, it could brings good fortune too...

Well i'm not mad nor sad, as i gone over the naive and ignorance stage of my childhood emo period. I learn to accept facts and reality, whatever comes i greet with positive and open arms attitude, as i learn to quotes my friends or family "Cherish the past, Embrace the present , and Broaden your future."

Easier said than done, i'm human too, with feelings and emotions, of course i will feel something, so i try to master my emotions, most of the time, i'm in control not it over me.
End of the day, i believe its part of a test for me from the o'mighty god ,fates or whatever mysterious power lies within the universe, so i shall embrace and accept this challenge, i will not be sway, will not back down, will keep fighting till the end...... failures will be a growth to my experiences ,i'll yet be wiser ,stronger for future battles....ahead~~

I shall now accept my fate ~~! okay... nite nite enough crapping.... sleep time...

Big guns ,better pictures? i think not....

Recent encounters.

Photo session 1 = photo turn our overexpose , bag angle , hand shake, noise
Camera man - I blame the flash, need to buy a better one, this one can't do auto TTL, ambiance lightning too boring no reflective effect,

Photo session 2= under expose shots in broad day light,shadow on models,model pose unattractive
Camera man - i blame i forgot to bring reflector and flash,i blame models dunno how to pose

Conclusion to pattern = camera man need better skill and stop blaming the equipments , models nor environment


I manage to caught a chat with him, nag nag nag , non stop complains.... this is so amusing.... i sense it why doesn't him, 
i'm not a pro to start with but at-least i know my skill up to what level and willing to judge the weakness of my own photos. 


Just because i gave him an honest comment like so...

"My sifu always say, learn to adapt, conquer and survives ."


"He bubble up and say, u does it work hobby i does it for a job, its different, hence i have to cover all shots. i always go the easy way for convenience for my job. i m doing my job, and u r doing for interest, the diff is there."


Yes those are his words, i'm still blur.. .but i get the intention, time for me to act dumb and shut up i guess.... so sad.... taught can share interest and help each other on photography... well i hope the rest of my fellow shooter, if sometimes i come on too strong with my words ... please smack me few times okay... hahaha

Recharge~~

Life is busy and it seems each year it just gets busier.

Work, family, school, and other commitments just eat the day away and leave you with no time to sit back and relax.

However, rest and relaxation is very important. In fact, getting enough rest is imperative to living a healthy lifestyle and when you do not relax and get enough sleep you are putting yourself at risk for illness as well as other side effects.

I finally let myself the much dredged sleeps i owe myself through out the months, now feeling refresh and recharge.... it time to sleep again for tomorrow days of work hahaa... nite nite 

Words~~Of Fates Within

If words could kill, then i would say i was hit critical damage tonite, lolx smack left right....straight into my very core of my soul..... me heart.... haha just kiddin~~ hehe... my heart is BUILT like a concrete wall, Solid~!!

But through out my years of training and experience i have learn to adapt for facts, whats can't defeat me, only makes me stronger... i have be more confident and assure of my decisions.... i will never give up... but patiently waits and be there to proves me worth....

Time is a most unique thing, it will hurts, build, teach, and even shows ultimately the true nature and means of everything in our hearts.... i  hope for more time, and fate will slowly reveal itself.

"We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.” 

H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946) "

In seizing the moments of your life you extend their value and allow each to create magic. You see each as a miracle and know that within them lies the importance of life. Life is not full of quantity time but full of quality time. It is up to each of us to recognize the quality within each moment and to allow it to shine throughout our day. This alone will begin to change our world. 

 “Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance.” 

William Wirt 

“Most of us think ourselves as standing wearily and helplessly at the center of a circle bristling with tasks, burdens, problems, annoyance, and responsibilities which are rushing in upon us. At every moment we have a dozen different things to do, a dozen problems to solve, a dozen strains to endure. We see ourselves as overdriven, overburdened, overtired. This is a common mental picture and it is totally false. No one of us, however crowded his life, has such an existence. What is the true picture of your life? Imagine that there is an hour glass on your desk. Connecting the bowl at the top with the bowl at the bottom is a tube so thin that only one grain of sand can pass through it at a time. That is the true picture of your life, even on a super busy day, The crowded hours come to you always one moment at a time. That is the only way they can come. The day may bring many tasks, many problems, strains, but invariably they come in single file. You want to gain emotional poise? Remember the hourglass, the grains of sand dropping one by one.” 

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart."

开心苦力的故事~~~

虽然一直做了他的苦力，两个晚上，

可是很奇怪。。。。我的心情特别的好。。。
可能。。因为我能看到她, 帮助她, 跟她聊天，& 打扰他整个晚上。。。hehe..
里面的感觉就像是在人间天堂一样。。。。
一切困难的味道是甜美的，一切挑战的感觉是完美的。。。
真有满足感哈哈。。

我象个傻瓜吗？？？ 哈哈。。。

如果是。。。我也是个很开心，很有满足感的傻瓜哈哈哈。。
如果可以。。。也真想永远做他的开心苦力。。。。

Ring~~~ 闹钟响, 很可惜。。只是一场梦而已。。。

Patient and perseverance ....

"Be Patient , for the world is broad and wide. "- William Shakespeare

Suddenly this truck me head on tonight, helping you doing homework, really makes me wonder, how most person in your profession  does it repeatedly , again and again ... and again.........

No wonder some to the brink of explosion ...... hahaa.. i have upmost respect to them ... now... shed a new light... towards 我的老师们~~！加油吧！

Another cool night~

Yet another cool night, rains stop only around few hours ago... love this kind of weather but bad if u have to drive around the suburban area with low lightning... But its okay.. cause i get to share a glimpse of yet so colorful evening with the most interesting teacher ever... even got chance to eat famous Menglembu wan tan mee...

Pleasant nite indeed...

Tiredness draws across the mind

Making the body fade flexibility and

Soon windows of soul begin to close

Welcome to dreamland!! Sweet Dreams!

=-="

Last week glorious food galore ~~

Berlin Bier's Houz Ipoh

Cooling nite... freezing brain...

so cold tonite... can't sleep still... wide awake... brain freezing with taught of .....
winds is colder now... mind is getting nausea ... butt is getting itchy,, hands tired of typing in msn to SIlly Goh.... what this i hear.... yes yes.... i hear it..... thomppppppp! just felt asleep on my keyboard... time to shut eyes...

A new decision , a burst of new emotions~~

Brains process logic, decision made , action taken, motion initiated ...... outcome?

Better than i expected, or not as worse as i projected.

Optimism , confidences , and faith is what drives me, but emotions is what confuses me, being a man of logic and positive thinking most of the time, i find it at times in rather self conflict most of the time.

Emotions contribution to one's decision making, is it a good thing ?Should i be emotional in decision making or having nothing at all, is better?

In the end, there is no rectify way to make absolute judgement in life as human beings are created imperfect ,in this core of flaws and impurities is what defines us as an unique individual.

So i tell myself why worry about what is the right amount of emotions should i let myself indulge in when making decisions... but rather have the same faith and confidences in myself, that i decide out of me , no one else. and that decision is always positive and of pure genuine honesty ...

Hence i think of it as , keeping the right balance of emotions and logic helps me drive my motions so far to be swift and accurate ...

I truely believe "There is always a silver lining , somewhere" So to all my friends and family, trust yourself ... be honest to your emotions, embrace it , acknowledged it ,cherish it but don't let it controls you, rather you controls them.

Live life to the fullest without regrets and take actions now don't indulge too long to miss out what fates has to offer~~~

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.”